Thank you for your continued prayers. Turns out the doctors had pathologists do immediate tests following the biopsy today. I didn’t know express service was even an option. They confirmed that the growth on the pancreas is cancer.
I think most people struggle with what to say to someone who gets this kind of news. I hope you won’t spend much time doing that. Here’s why:
I know you love me, that you would do anything you can to help, and that you will probably experience degrees and varieties of emotion as the journey unfolds. What I would ask is that you have conversations with God about whatever comes up in your heart & mind, and ask Him to give you His perspective. Because God is always-always-always good.
As for me, my great sadness today is that you are going to feel sorrow & pain because of what this disease will ultimately do to me.
This is what I am going to be telling people (got to start doing it this afternoon):
When I went through the 12 steps of AA, I met God. And I have had the most incredible life since. It’s only been 7 years or so but it isn’t the quantity-it’s the quality. Had I not met God, this would be a cruel and torturous situation. Instead, I am a little closer to seeing Jesus face to face. And I can hardly wait. His unrelenting and overwhelming love for me has drawn me like a magnet. Who wouldn’t want to be nearer to that?!
Over the next few days and weeks I will learn about the medical options (if any) and what next steps are feasible. In the meantime, I am surrounded by my best friends (2 live with me) and a church full of people who have heard the story of what God did in my life these last several years. I want them all to know God loves them; and He isn’t done with me yet.
My prayers specifically for you tonight is that God will fill you with His peace. In all things, thank God for His goodness and mercy; for I have received an overflowing abundance of both and I know He wants you to have it too.
Last thing for now: after we learn what the future will probably look like, I would like the opportunity to spend some time with you. Doesn’t have to be face-to-face. I think it would be fun and fulfilling for us to recall memories we have shared, but we can talk about anything.
I began learning how to love – really love – in these last 7-8 years. Know that I have the deepest love and affection for you. I couldn’t be more proud to be your dad/son/brother.
Talk to you soon.